How are you? Really.
That was one of the questions waiting in my inbox on December 29th. Suzanne Castle, a Disciples minister, worship designer, and coach for professionals or organizations, asked that question in her last email of the year to subscribers of her “The Sparkle Factor.” When I read it, I was on holiday watching the ocean float by. She asked subscribers to respond to the email. I did with the words below which, upon reflection, I would edit a bit, (in parenthesis), but I’m mostly in the same place today as I begin 2024.
Watching the sun rise over Bimini from the terrace of our cabin on Valiant Lady, I feel blessed and obligated. My companion and I decided a long time ago to live now, before retirement. Now, we think we have a decade or a bit more to give to the church (our denomination and the big “C,” Church.)
As an old GenX’er, I think of myself as a cynical realist (about our Nation, its politics, its economic caste system, geopolitics, and Christendom) who trusts the Pension Fund will be as good for me (and younger generations) as I’m told it has been for the youngest of the Silent Generation, and Boomer retired clergy.
As a church leader, I’m balancing what my mentors taught was ‘quality’ church with my experience and the newest incarnation of Discipledom (my denomination) that I find less Disciple (and more generic evangelical Christianity) each day. (There is a generation of clergy who believe that social justice is the only appropriate gospel, no matter one’s context, for times like these). When (theological and socially) conservative clergy tell me they feel like the church (Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)) has left them out or behind, I respond, “I feel the same way.”
I have a companion that values most of what I value. I’m loved for who I am and made better by our relationship of almost 35 years. I’m a better human being with her. We are professionals, despite bristling at that characterization, who enjoy life’s ups and downs together.
How am I really? I could be worse. I’m not sure how I could be better. Thanks for asking.
(Of course, I’m a cisgender, privileged, educated, Truth seeker, nuance-appreciating, critical thinking, historical system-observing, pragmatic, sometimes rule-bending, live-and-let-live white male. I’m supposed to be okay because of my skin color and sex at birth, even when/if, I’m not. I am more and less than my labels. I do my best to treat others as more than their labels in a time when everyone needs a list and is limited, self imposed or socially, by their labels. “Finally I understand the feelings of the few. Ashes and diamonds. Foe and friends. We were all equal in the end.”(1))
How are you? Really.
Note
1. Roger Waters and Pink Floyd, The Final Cut. “Two Suns in the Sunset.” (Harvest-Columbia) 1983.