Davison's Doodle

30 Years . . . Really?

It happened.  My sister’s oldest is graduating from high school on schedule.  It makes sense.  They have been married 23 years and the oldest turned 18 back in January.  My sister and brother-in-law are excited, as proud parents are supposed to be, and not talking about how weird it is to be old enough to have one of your children graduate from high school.  Grandparents are in town for the graduation ceremony and the lunch to follow.  It is an exciting time for my family because this is the first high school graduation.  My younger sister has the two grandchildren.

My companion’s side of the family is also celebrating a high school graduation, but they’ve had that experience before.  My companion is the youngest of three.  Her oldest sister’s kids are all grown up and have children of their own.  It’s her middle sister whose oldest has reached graduation day on schedule.  In July we will take both these newly minted “adults” on a celebration trip with us to learn more about them and give them a taste of a bigger world than either have known in their hometowns.  Yes, the internet can bring the world to your pocket or laptop, but it is not until you are out there that the diversity, richness, chaos, and challenges become actual.  It is not until you are dealing with people and the routine of living that western American adulthood, with all its rights, privileges, and responsibilities, becomes real.  Some leave the nest and some are encouraged to leave but don’t.  Some stay in the nest and navigate how to be an adult under direct parental guidance, which if you are reading this and just turned 18 or about to, parenting does not cease just because you reached the age you can be drafted and vote.  At best, parents learn a different way to listen and parent their new “adult” child.  Your task it is to pick up a check, pay some rent, and help out without having to be asked to do so when you are at home.  Your task it to get out of the house and not embarrass the family name nor your own future.

I was talking to my sister about the graduate, marriage, and our parents moving to the lake and I said what we were both thinking.  “Has it already been that long?”  And not meant to “pile on” to my experience of time, but two weeks ago I received an email announcing my 30th high school reunion.  That prompted memories of faces, stories, and experiences and I wondered has it already been that long.  Sure.  I’ve been married 23 years, ordained 21 years, 4 years of divinity school, and 4 years of undergrad.  I don’t think you can inventory life as something consumed, but the realization that it had been 30 years since I graduated from high school did spur a conversation with my companion.  It is one we visit from time to time with our favorite music as the background, about the kind of kids we were, who we ran with, and what we did.  We talk about our married life and review how it has been this long.  Faces more than names can be drawn from the memory bank.  Experiences, with some specifics, can be recalled from the archive of memories.

I cannot attend my reunion and even if I did there might be a dozen people, out of 700, in my class that I really knew.  My family moved to Waco during Christmas break of my junior year in high school.  I’m grateful to those that embraces a short, red-head, tennis player.  Richfield class of 1983, I tip my hat to you.  Those that knew me would probably be surprised by my 30 year story.

I am an ordained minister that serves in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).  I was ordained into Christian ministry in 1991.  I’ve served in congregations and now I represent the institutional Church and my denomination.  In religious speak I am a “middle judicatory representative.”   I have a love/hate relationship with the Church and Christianity.  I’m comfortable with that relationship.  I’m more than comfortable with it.  I rely on it as a compass or barometer.  I serve in a variety of ways, but my primary focus is program ministries and support of those that walk alongside kindergarden to 35 year olds.

I’m sharing my life with my companion of 23 years, Lisa, who is also an ordained minister.  She has a PhD in Hebrew Bible and a Masters in World Religions.  She teaches at a seminary.  Someone once commented to me that, “You all live well.”  I wasn’t sure how to take that since we are not wealthy, but I can tell you we’ve really lived.

I have a few close friends, great peers, and many colleagues.

I don’t know what many, or any, of you are doing, but I trust you found a way to make a difference in your community and in the lives of the “other.”  We are the oldest end of GenX.  Our culture has overlooked our leadership and skills for the “younger” generation.   Maybe it is because we can operate in both the “boomer” world and the “tech savvy” world.  We were latchkey kids.  Some of us had the first 2 parent homes where both worked outside the home.  We lived through Disco, embraced Pop music, Hair Bands, Metal, “Cross Over Artists,” survived “Christian” rock, and heard the roots of Rap and HipHop before they were given the designation.  We can remember Nixon and Watergate.  We know how politics has changed from governing to “reigning.”  We can note how airplane travel has changed.  We learned to type on typewriters and took the first computer programming classes.  We’ve seen two space shuttles explode, three US wars on TV, hostages, Grenada, three stock market crashes and recessions, and the energy crisis.  We can remember the first “ATM’s” and that credit cards were shunned or only for emergencies.  We know when “cable TV” became the norm.  We can remember when there was some stuff you could not buy on Sunday at the store and we can remember days before soccer, before youth sports were seen as a way to stay out of trouble or a way to get rich.  We can remember a day before youth sports leagues took over family lives.

I think GenX may have been overlooked, forgotten, because as a generation we embrace the words on this t-shirt a bit too much.  We often have significant questions that require real personal change and systemic change that push the boundaries of too much, too fast.  It’s been 30 years since we walked at the convention center in Waco to grab a diploma and head out into life.  I’ll borrow words of Kinky Friedman to close.  “May the God of your choice bless you.”